Here they are:
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THINGS BOOK NERDS DO
- “I can’t remember if the book is in my car, if I
donated it, or if I lent it out and never got it back” – as shared in an
email to a friend. This
happens just too much.
- Keeping an entire library’s worth of books in
your car. Just in case. Or because they don’t fit in your house anymore. I have no car, but I
do have one in my school locker. My locker is a library (kind of).
- You create a stack of books to read next and
promptly pick up another book entirely to start. To-read lists just
aren’t useful. They only serve to impress people.
- You hold off on re-reading the end of a beloved
favorite (again) because you don’t want it to end (again).Aye, so true it hurts.
- Wait! Wash those hands before you pick up that
book! And no! It’s NOT ‘just
a book’! And I won’t calm down!
- You pet book covers before you read them. Coversss…
- Policing random people in bookstores because
they’re breaking the damn spines. Like, it’s not even theirs (yet) and they’re
already HARMING THEM?
- Constantly rearranging your bookshelves in
different ways because you haven’t found the “perfect” system yet. By
author? By genre then author? By color? By most loved? Weekly problems we
all have.
- You keep a color-coded spreadsheet to track your
reading because none of the zillions of existing book-tracking software
options is detailed enough for you and you *need* to make graphs at the
end of the year. Need.
Plus, it does look pretty (and it’s more impressive to people than online
ones).
- You ruin everyone’s movie watching experience by
pointing out all the differences between the original book/source material
and the film. (Husband won’t watch anything with Greek Mythology with me
any longer.)
I don’t have a husband, but, they are NOT described that way in the books.
Okay, watch what you want. I will be reading if you need me.
- You have responded to your partner’s amorous
advances with, “Just as soon as I finish this chapter.” Not amorous ones, but
it sometimes happens with homework (and sleeping).
- You consider quietly reading in a coffee shop to
be an excellent 1) idea for a date, 2) idea for a friend hangout, 3) idea
for yourself any day of the week. Because why not.
- You collect hard copies of series in the format
in which you got the first one. If you got the first one in hardback, the
rest of them are acquired thusly as well (even if you know you’ve got no
chance of reading it before it comes out in paperback) And it looks
prettier. They’re all the same. Pretty, I’m telling you.
- You exchange books with your mom by mail and then
you have long phone conversations trying to remember who’s got which book
and which book you want back.
(Actually, I don’t. Her literary tastes are not the same as mines. I won’t
read Twilight. No, I won’t give arguments, I just won’t. OK. I don’t want
to. And it actually is an argument to me)
- You make sure to only buy purses/bags that are
big enough to store a paperback. You can’t go out for drinks without
taking a book along too.
They’re useless otherwise.
- When you were in fourth grade, you didn’t
understand why your friends didn’t want to just come over and read quietly
together.
You missed all the fun. It’s even better than watching Netflix.
- You bring print books AND a stocked ereader on vacation. If you’re close to finishing your current book, you bring a back-up along, just in case you finish. It would be foolish not to.
- Your pets have adjusted to your household,
tabletop, and bedside piles of books and use them for their own climbing,
sleeping, and/or attention-getting purposes. And they use them aaaall the time.
- When you have guests over, piles of books get
covered with linens of some sort and become new furniture. (To me, they look
better in the bookshelf, or the table, or the bed. And the desk, and the
chair)
- When guests leave, you still use piles of books in various forms to perform furniture-related functions. Like rising the PC to watch Netflix.
- You do not have a single room in your home
lacking a book or fifteen of some kind. Kitchen reading. Bedroom reading.
Office reading. Bathroom reading. Guest bathroom reading. Guest bedroom
reading. Den reading. You’re covered in any and all situations. Only fifteen?
Pathetic.
- Still celebrating the birthdays of the ladies of
The Baby-Sitters Club all these years later. Because why wouldn’t you
worship your idols on their special days? Woz that?
- Your brother lost some of your complete collection of Animorphs book, and, if you’re being honest, you’re probably never going to get over it. GET AWAY FROM HARRY POTTER. GET AWAY FROM THE LORD OF THE RINGS. Why? Because I found Tunnels on the sofa. Only /I/ can put my books there. They’re miiine.
- Darting
your eyes from the math homework to your book and back. You can always do
the homework at school.
- You have your reading playlist. No. It's not the same to the sleeping one. There are about 4 playlists. It depends on your mood which one you play. It depends on the book, too.
- You've tried to write a story. Over, and over. And you spend your time daydreaming of the times when you are famous and have money (to buy more books).
- You don't understand people who don't read. Like, how are they even real? GO AWAY.
- You have convinced your friends to read your books (they loved them, and you talk about them all the time)
Check the link here: http://bookriot.com/2015/05/06/shit-book-nerds/
